It takes a few days after an unsuccessful cycle to come to terms with the utter disappointment and sadness. This time is even worse, because there were 3 follicles and we went in for an aspiration – and we came out with nothing but tears.

I don’t want to hear that at least I have already. I wanted this one. I want more – because I am that awesome.

Maybe next week or the week after I will be in the mood again to worry about a kid that is 5 months off and growing inside a surrogate on the other side of the country. Right now I just want to hide under a blanket and cry rivers. That is it.

You can think I am selfish – because I am. You can think I am as stubborn as a donkey – because I am. You can however not sit in your chair and think that this is easy, because this process takes more than most people would be able to cope with.


Susann is a travel, parenting, beauty and lifestyle blogger in Johannesburg, South Africa.


  1. I am so sorry Susann. I had a similar thing happen to me and it was devastating. Having all the drugs and injections and going through the unpleasant aspiration procedure, only to fail at the fertilization point and have the cycle go no further. It is horribly disappointing.
    Sending love!

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