It has been a few weeks, but I am still here – barely.

We had a surrogate. She was so super keen to do it. She promised me she would do it after I expressly asked her if she was sure that she would be able to cope with this. She wasted a lot of our money by lying. She gave me hope and then took it away. She knew in what state I was and yet she thought she would do me a favour by lying to my face.

I will never trust another human being or help them out. I am done with being the nice person people could rely on. I helped people my whole life and now when it matters most not a single person I know repaid my kindness. Screw everyone. Seriously.

This is what yet another surrogate’s lying did to me:

I most definitely now have a deep seated distrust in people and definitely not interested in lending anyone a helping hand anymore. I cry every day from the moment I leave the office until I fall asleep. I do not see that there is any hope for us to have our own kid.


Susann is a travel, parenting, beauty and lifestyle blogger in Johannesburg, South Africa.

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