When my mom tells a story of what the family is getting up to and you get utterly confused about who the players in the story are…

Let me explain, I am Susann(a), I have an aunt Susan(na) and had a gran that went by the name Sannie (also Susanna). However it doesn’t stop there, I have a cousin a year younger also called Susan(na) and another one 2 or 3 years younger also called – I know you can guess this – Susan(na). I also have a second cousin called Susan(na). Yes, they are all from my dad’s side of the family.

The youngest Susan(na) used to live somewhere in Pretoria with her late husband and 2 children. Her husband was shot and killed at work by a disgruntled employee. She is now a full-blown alcoholic (for a decade) and I’m not sure which of the family has custody of her kids.

The second youngest Susan(na) is somewhere north of Joburg. She married her high school sweetheart (he was matric when she was in standard 6…don’t get me started) and after the divorce she lost custody or gave up custody… She is/was married twice after that – I lost track.

Then there is me, the eldest cousin, with fertility problems. My life is pretty together.

Then up next is my dad’s youngest sister that is just 10 years older than me. She was in the SAPS, then married a professional hunter and had 4 kids. She is a pretty cool person.

Then there was my gran who passed away about 3 years ago.

…but back to the story of my mom telling a story.

So my mom tells me about the health issues of my dad’s 3rd youngest sibling and her husband but then she throws into the mix my dad’s second youngest sister name and Susan. The second youngest sibling is helping the alcoholic Susan(na) to book into yet another rehab and is also looking for a place for the aunt and uncle to stay where they would be looked after. However the Susan is thrown in there doing something vague and I couldn’t quite figure out which Susan(na) is involved in the story.

The moral of the story is, ffs please slap your siblings if they choose to name your child the same as their cousins! It isn’t fun to be known as Susan(na) from this and that person.


Susann is a travel, parenting, beauty and lifestyle blogger in Johannesburg, South Africa.

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