Life is unpredictable, but I’ve squeezed from it what I could already

I don’t think I have a long life ahead of me – and I’m just being realistic about it. The human body can only take that much abuse before it rebels and I know that my efforts to have my own kids and a decade of bilharzia (and the poison to kill it) will one day come back to haunt me.

However, joke is on destiny, because I already live as if every day may be my last day. I have seen the world. I have loved and lost. I have shed tears of sadness and happiness. I have squeezed the last bit of sunshine from every day. I have lived a life that I could never even dream of. I made the impossible, possible and had you.

I can’t leave anything to chance or just hope for the best – it’s not in my nature. From now until your 15^th birthday you will have frivolous things that will make you happy for a short time. They will end up forgotten and move to new homes eventually. Your 16^th birthday have been taken care of. Like me, you will receive you first pearls on this very important birthday. You probably won’t wear it until you are much older, because it is such an old lady type of jewellery – but I promise you, one day when you are older you will understand and appreciate it.

Before the next big chapter in your life…

On your 18^th birthday, whether I’m here or not, you will receive a gift that you can cherish for the rest of your life. I hope to be able to buy each charm and let you assemble your bracelet in any order you see fit. It will give you time to reflect on why I bought each charm and maybe it will inspire you to find the beauty in life – because when I was that age I didn’t see much in the dark.

When you turn 21 you don’t need a party…

Instead of having fun for 1 night, rather go somewhere exotic. Follow in my footsteps across continents, borders and islands. Do a tour of Ireland – it will change the way you see everything – it is after all part of your heritage. You should also feel at home in a few other countries – just learn a bit of the languages before you go.

I hope that I get to see you find and build a life that will make you happy – that would be first prize. But if I’m not here anymore, know that you were wanted more than anything in this world and you will never really be alone.