Goodness me, after 8 years of knowing the in-laws I saw an entirely different side to mom-in-law – and I’m absolutely appalled. I know you are thinking “wait till I hear about your in-laws”, but I seriously think that mine beats yours in the strange department.
I grew up in a house where my parents rarely fought (I can remember one bad fight and then the usual bickering between spouses). My parents each had their duties – dad would support the family financially and mom would be the taxi driver for school and sports and be a small knitting entrepreneur. She even went back to teaching when I hit Grade 10. My parents planned holidays together, do stuff together – but also do stuff apart. I learned to be independent from the example set by my parents.
Then I started dating hubby. The first time I was invited to a Sunday lunch with his family I found it extremely strange that the boys hung out so much with their parents – until the day I realised that it was because their mom was needing the attention. It didn’t really bug me back then because as long as their behaviour and demands didn’t influence me, we would get along just fine.
My first Christmas with hubby’s parents I soon realised that our idea of Christmas vastly differed. I would rather have a small but specially picked gift and they would rather have expensive presents. After the first Christmas I put an embargo on buying such extravagant gifts and when hubby saw how different my family’s Christmases were, he agreed. (To put it into perspective, his family consisted of dad, mom, brother and sister-in-law at more than R2,000 for gifts where my family consisted of dad, mom, sister, brother-in-law, 2 nieces and grandmother that all received gifts totaling under R1,000.)
After 8 years together his dad retired and his parents moved 700km away. This Christmas I let him invite his parents to a joint holiday with my family in the Kruger Park. Bad mistake. Just before our departure mom-in-law jokingly said that if it was too hot in the KNP that her son would have to bring her back to Gauteng and that she has never camped.
Naive me joked to hubby about the noises mom-in-law made while getting in and out of his car the day we
went to lunch just before the KNP. He was not impressed that I said she was only making the “oef-oef” sounds to try get attention (because after-all, she is like more than 10 years younger than my own mom that had a back op and never complains).
Alarm bells should have gone off in my head…
Unfortunately the KNP was hit by a heatwave adding to the volatile situation. On day 2 we went out early morning for 5 hours with them. We asked if they wanted to do a 36km route but opted to stay in camp to have a nap, while my parents and sister’s family also stayed in the camp to wait out the afternoon heat.
When you drive out into the KNP anything can happen. 36km can take an hour or three depending on what you see. It took us just over 2 hours to complete the return trip and when we pulled into camp mom-in-law was standing hands on hips. Then mom-in-law let loose a loud, high pitched tirade…
At the top of her lungs she laid into hubby for leaving her at camp so long without aircon. At minute 2 I could not stand the screeching anymore and I told her to stop it immediately, then she turned on me and told me to “never come between a mother and child” and that is when I saw red. Here is the woman that couldn’t muster a single message of support to me in 2 years that I allowed to come on my family holiday and she was acting like a crazy, spoiled brat. In a split second I stood next to her and in my deep rolling voice told her that she is childish and who does she think she.
Mom-in-law jumped up and into her tent (no sore knee in sight), got her hat and stormed off into the camp with poor dad-in-law running after her.
After about an hour they came back. She went into the tent (that was a sauna) and dad-in-law explained to us that they would be picked up by their other son all the way from Pretoria.
Mom-in-law stayed in the tent the whole afternoon and refused to come out of the tent or on another game drive. When she eventually came out for dinner she refused to even speak or look at her son. The next day my husband took them to the KNP exit gate and she bluntly ignored him for more than 2 hours.
It has been 5 days and she has still not spoken to my husband.
A message to my mom-in-law
Dear woman that raised my husband,
You may be the mother of my husband, but I came between you and your son the minute he moved in with me. You are no longer the most important woman in his life – deal with it.
Come down off your high horse, you have achieved NOTHING in your life on your own. Stop trying to be so posh in the eyes of your friends, money isn’t everything – I know, because I made my own money and it hasn’t changed who I am.
Your behaviour in the KNP was unacceptable, it was childish. My sister offered to drive you around after you woke up, why you chose to rather sit in camp and work yourself up – I just don’t get it. Your childish silent treatment is only hurting your husband and son.
I don’t care if I don’t see you again – but I do care that you are hurting my husband, your son. Grow up, seriously you are over 60 and acting like my nieces when they were toddlers.
