Life during a pandemic makes you appreciate the people and experiences you share so much more. It makes you realise just how fragile us little humans are…

At the beginning of the lockdown I was petrified. I have 2 small kids. I couldn’t afford to get sick. I didn’t want them to grow up without me. As the lockdown period endlessly stretched into an uncertain future, I realized that if we kept on sitting in our home I will probably be trying to make a break for it and run for the trees. I have never been not free. I didn’t like to feel like a prisoner and be cut off from people, the world…

I grew paler those first few months. My cheekbones protruding just a little more than usual. I didn’t sleep well. I didn’t eat well. I didn’t relax.

Then the announcement came, we can visit nature reserves – but not get out and picnic or sit at a restaurant. That same day I planned our first outing, made a list of snacks to buy and booked our tickets online. I was so excited. I felt like I could breathe again.

We visited the Lion Park, the Rhino and Lion Nature Reserve, Modderfontein, Rietvlei and any other place that was open. Eventually we could even go to some other attractions like the Upside Down House (which was very exciting for the kids). We have taken so many photos and I have printed out so many of them with my Instax Mini LiPlay for my office and family.

Then there is a day like yesterday where I had my first in-person meeting in a Mugg and Bean… and I just didn’t want to be there. Wherever I looked, people were sitting across from each other without masks, talking to each other… all in one enclosed space. Suddenly I felt panicked and I just couldn’t sit there in that closed room full of people without masks enjoying life! I paid for my juice and left.

I’m not ready. I still have 2 small kids. I still want to go to many beautiful faraway places with them. I’m not ready for the world outside of my little family of 4 humans and 2 cats.